My Bitter-Sweet Week.

Hi there my friends.

How are you all?

Thanks for staying with me, I've had such a bitter-sweet week and took a few days away from social media to collect my thoughts.

You may have read about my past week, having had to say a tearful farewell to my darling little dog Roxy and also welcome my new little grand-daughter too.  I also had the pleasure of looking after my grandson whilst his mum and dad were in hospital.  It's been a roller-coaster ride for sure and I have been emotionally drained.

My little dog has been around for nearly 16 years and I remember the day she arrived so clearly.....

My best friends 40th birthday resulted in me having a few too many drinks on the Sunday of her party.  Feeling, how shall I put it, a little jaded the next morning.  I was so ill my hubby had to take the children to school.  I spent most of the day in bed nursing my poor head and upset tummy!  

I surfaced late afternoon and managed to pick the children up from school.  Our first dog Candy decided that day to give birth to five darling little puppies, one boy and four girls.  My husband helped her birth them, and by the end of the evening all pups were settled in bed with mum.  

My kids fell in love with them all, enjoying the cuddles and play dates in the garden chasing them around.  They loved watching them grow and helped feed them and clean up after them.  They wanted to keep all of the little beauties, "can we keep them all" came their cries!  I didn't really want to keep any but gave in and kept the second born Roxy.  She was named after Roxie Hart from Chicago - a favourite musical we all loved to watch.

So it was decided, in the blink of an eye and an affirmation from mum and dad we went from a family of 7 with one dog to family of 7 with two dogs!

The years that followed were brilliant.  We walked the dogs and played with them and their toys.  I took them in the car on the school runs and everyone would make a fuss of them.  As the children grew up and got engrossed in other pastimes the dogs became my fur babies.  They would sit either side of me on the sofa - sort of like a straight-jacket!  They loved being right by my side, but didn't always like each other - lol.

Over the past couple of years it became more and more obvious that Roxy was suffering with dementia like her mum had.  At the beginning it wasn't too noticeable but gradually we noticed she had become deaf and found it hard to settle.  

Roxy would walk round and round in circles, she would wear us out just watching. On the other hand once in the garden she'd sprint about in the garden jumping around like a puppy!  We began to notice her back legs weren't as strong and wouldn't hold her up so she ended up sitting down.  It was so sad to see and I felt helpless for her.  I took her to the vets back in the Autumn, just to have a chat.  The vet said she wasn't in any pain and the toilet issues were our problem.  I understood and we carried on as we had been doing.  

I just didn't know how she felt and it was hard watching her get worse and not being able to help her. 

In the last month I would take her into the garden but when I picked her up to take her back in she would fight and try to get away, she didn't recognize even me.  That was when I decided that it might be 'the time'. 

The week before last I took her to the vets again, explaining all the problems and was very sad to hear the vet agreed with me that she wasn't able to be pacified and always looked frantic and fearful.

So last Monday was the day, it's hard to recall the awful situation I found myself in.  A decision that has left me feeling emotionally upset and empty.  I have to say the vet and her veterinary assistant were amazing, they treated us and Roxy with utmost respect and handled the situation brilliantly.  It was such a sad time that had all the family in tears.  Roxy had to be sedated before they could put a drip in - this was because of bloody Covid!  She fell into a peaceful sleep and was the most settled and relaxed I'd seen her in a long time.  This has given me immense relief as I know she's not suffering anymore.

It's one of the hardest decisions I've had to make so I've decided I won't be getting another dog as I can't put myself through all those emotions again.  

Have you had to make an awful decision like this?  It's so difficult isn't it?

We buried Roxy in our garden alongside her mum, we've planted a tree to mark where they are and I've bought some Forget-me-knot seeds and daffodil bulbs to make the area pretty too.  I have lots of memories and a few pictures and videos to recall my little fur baby. X

Now my week does have a positive side,  my new grand-daughter Autumn Joyce arrived a couple of days later.  She's like a little doll, so tiny and petite I immediately fell in love with her and I know she's going to go a long way to fill the hole little Roxy has left. 💕

Thank you so much for joining me on the blog.  I really do love having you hear, it really cheers me up.

Do come back on Thursday for the #LINKUP

Bye for now. X